#5 The only foolproof way to accomplish your resolutions in 2024
But also? It's totally cool if you're still in hibernation mode 🙋♀️
So, here we find ourselves in a new year.
How is everyone doing?
Do we know what day it is yet?
Are we back to work?
Have we taken down the tree or started decluttering?
Did we make some resolutions? Or are we still hibernating?
There are a million different ways to start the new year. If you would’ve asked me even a few months ago if I do resolutions in January, I would’ve responded with a firm “NO.” This is for a few reasons, one being I got to a point in my journey where I was like, you can take your “new year, new you” stuff and shove it, because I actually like myself just the way I am!
Nonjudgmental self-acceptance at its finest. 😬 I’m okay with being an imperfect work in progress. There’s an odd freedom in mediocrity, in not needing to change the world, in the concept of being “good enough.” It was a stand against social media comparison, perfectionism, and the unrealistic societal standards placed on women, moms in particular. It was a white flag of grace.
Another reason I became anti-resolution is that I wasn’t ever able to successfully sustain them, which gets discouraging year after year. You get to a point where you think, why bother? I am not someone who accomplishes resolutions.1
This is, at least in part, because I tend to live my life in an….overstuffed manner, shall we say. Why accomplish 2 things before you have to leave for church when you can try to accomplish 5? Why have 1 beverage when you can have 2 (and try to carry both of them out to the car)?2 Why make a realistic to-do list for the day when you can write down absolutely everything that needs to be done and then think you will somehow be able to do it all?
You get the idea.
And while knowing yourself3 is certainly the first part of the puzzle in accomplishing your resolutions and setting realistic goals a close second, there’s another very important piece, one our common goal-setting framework tends to overlook.
Take “exercise more,” for example. It’s one of the top ten most common New Year’s Resolutions.4 So what do we typically do? We buy a new gym membership or a workout app or the adjustable barbells from Aldi.5 We commit to working out 5x/week. We wake up early, increase our water intake, make sure we get to bed at a decent time, start chugging protein, maybe get an accountability partner or join a class, up our step count, and cut back on alcohol, sugar, and carbs. Ignore the fact that this sounds horribly depressing for a minute6 and notice how it all focuses on the external—what we’re doing—instead of the internal—who we’re being.
If belief produces being, then we’re sending all of our effort and energy in the wrong direction.
In trying to achieve our goals in this manner, we ignore the most important question of all: Are we being someone who exercises more? And also, how do we become someone who does so?
Spoiler alert: it’s not by doing more, or even doing differently. *(And the whole world lets out a collective sigh of relief.)*
You see, even our best of intentions—our workout trackers, the memberships or classes we paid for, our new meal plans—don’t ultimately hold up to the limiting beliefs that run on autopilot in the background of our lives. It’s why you do the things you don’t want to do and don’t do the things that you do. It’s why you can sustain the resolutions for a while, but eventually your comfortable and familiar programming takes over and returns you to your functional baseline.
It’s why we need to embody the belief we are the kind of people who successfully exercise more before we can effectively be the kind of people who exercise more.
I am someone who exercises more. What would it take for you to believe that? What would it look like for you to be that person?7
Whatever your resolutions are for this year, presuming you’ve made some, take the time to delve into who you're being and your subconscious beliefs. Change starts with self-awareness, because we have to take an honest look at where we are before we can move forward. Here are some questions to help you do just that:
What are your thoughts about your resolution? Is it something you’re doing for yourself, or to please someone else? Is it something you think is fun, or do you view it as a chore? Will accomplishing it come easily to you, or will it be difficult?
Are you someone who succeeds? Why or why not?
What do you believe about change? Do you believe change is good, bad, or neutral? Do you believe the hard work you put in will be worth it?
Do you believe you are someone capable of consistency & discipline?
Are you someone who keeps resolutions?
Are you someone who can overcome doubts and fears? Someone who can believe in better for yourself before you see results? Or do you allow fear to keep you stuck and choose your future for you?
Are you confident?
Are you worthy of success? Of all your dreams and desires coming true?
When you fail, do you believe you can get back up? That you can continue to show up, no matter what? Or do you admit defeat and learn to live with the ensuing disappointment?
Do you believe you are capable of more than you could ask for or imagine?
Do you believe that God is bigger than your most daunting challenge?
As you read through those questions, did you notice one catch in your throat? Or sink like a pit in your stomach? Or twist up your insides? Or make you feel that familiar sense of guilt or shame? That, my friend, is where your subconscious block lies. That’s where you need to show up and do the belief work this year.
The only foolproof way to accomplish your resolutions in 2024 is to be the person who accomplishes those things, and to do that, you must first believe you can.
If you’re not in a place where you can believe that for yourself yet, know that I’m believing it for you. I’ll hold space until you’re ready.
Let me know how I can support you in who you’re becoming this year. 🤗 I’d love to hear about some of your answers to the above questions if you’re brave enough to share!
Happy New Year!
Cheering you on,
When we gather enough evidence of failure (or whatever) in our lives, we tend to view it as historical fact. I’m not someone who… I don’t…. I can’t…. And as it settles into our subconscious, it becomes the story we tell ourselves and the lens through which we filter all new experiences or challenges moving forward.
And also, why not fill the coffee cup all the way to the brim? Otherwise it’s a waste of space! (And a perfectly good outfit. And the [blessedly dark] car upholstery.)
Also also, I love footnotes! 🤓 It creates a margin where I can include as much ancillary detail (and be as weird!) as I want. Footnotes are also how I live my life, but usually just in my brain.
Your gifts, talents, capacity, ability, motivations, high performance pattern, strengths, personality, etc.
Top 10 Most Common New Years Resolutions (and How to Follow Through on Them). Great article with super helpful goal-setting advice, which I won't restate here.
Aldi is nothing if not strategic. They rolled out all the fitness stuff just in time for the new year. Aldi will tell you when you can buy workout equipment (and potato salad, too, for that matter)—this is not something you get to decide for yourself. 😂
Absolutely no offense to those of you choosing physical fitness as a goal for 2024. I have much respect for you! Also, this is revealing of my beliefs about exercise, so clearly I have some work to do in this area.
Most people aren't able to bridge the gap between where they are and where they want to be on their own. We weren’t created to do it alone! Lucky for you, this is my jam! It would be my absolute pleasure to come alongside you and help you reach your “being” goals this year. How different would your life look one year from now if you were able to overcome what’s keeping you stuck? What if this time next year, you had accomplished everything you set out to do? Schedule a free consult to see if coaching is a good fit for you!